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Lisa Boate, Liberated Menopause Consulting

and Coaching

Octoberber 19, 2025

4 Minute Read

Title

Why Men Need to Be Part of the Menopause Conversation

For too long, menopause has been whispered about—if mentioned at all—behind closed doors or in the safe company of women.

But here’s the truth: menopause is not just a “women’s issue.” It’s a human experience that impacts homes, workplaces, and communities. Everybody is affected, and everybody benefits when we start talking about it openly—including men. When I say “everybody,” I mean exactly that. Menopause isn’t exclusive to women. Gender-diverse people also experience it, and every human connected to them—partners, co-workers, friends, and family members—feels its impact. Think of it as a community event happening inside one person’s body.

In many families, women are what I like to call the ministers of infrastructure.

They hold the invisible threads of life together:

Scheduling the appointments, packing the lunches, remembering birthdays, and sensing when the emotional climate at home needs adjusting.

So when those ‘ministers’ are running on an empty tank—navigating sleepless nights, brain fog, hot flashes, mood shifts, and an identity overhaul—the ripple effects extend far beyond the individual.

It changes how households function, how relationships flow, and how workplaces operate.

That’s why inviting men into the menopause conversation isn’t just about empathy—it’s about stability, connection, and shared responsibility.

Here’s what I’ve learned through my work

as a menopause consultant and through an ongoing survey I run with men: they want to help. They want to understand. But overwhelmingly, they say the same thing:

“I just don’t know enough.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m scared I’ll make it worse.”

This silence doesn’t come from apathy; it comes from discomfort and a lack of language. Men are often left without the tools or spaces to learn about menopause, so they freeze. They worry that if they ask questions, they’ll offend. If they say nothing, they’ll seem indifferent.

Meanwhile, women are exhausted—physically, emotionally, hormonally—and frustrated by a societal structure that minimizes or medicalizes their experience. Add in the challenge of communicating across gendered styles, and you have two people trying to connect across a widening gap.

“Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”

Many men are trained, culturally and socially, to approach problems with logic and solutions.

But menopause doesn’t work like that. It’s not a problem to fix; it’s a transformation to witness, support, and move through together.

At the same time, women often communicate from a place of emotional processing—naming what’s shifting and seeking connection in that uncertainty.

So when these two styles meet, there’s potential for misunderstanding unless both sides consciously bridge the gap.

The strategy isn’t about assigning blame or teaching women to “manage” their partners.

It’s about developing a shared language—one that makes curiosity safer than avoidance, and empathy more powerful than solutions.

In my survey, some of the most poignant responses

come from men who say things like:

“I just wish someone would tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“I feel helpless watching her struggle.”

These comments reveal something hopeful: men care deeply. They’re not checked out—they’re shut out. What’s missing is an invitation to participate, to ask questions without judgment, and to listen without fear of getting it wrong.

When men understand what menopause really is—a natural, powerful hormonal shift that affects every system in the body—they start to see it differently. They begin to understand why their partner might be more tired, more sensitive, or less interested in sex. They start to appreciate the complexity rather than dismissing it as moodiness or aging.

And in workplaces, that awareness can lead to real change.

Leaders who understand menopause can create policies and cultures that support all employees.

Colleagues who “get it” can respond with compassion instead of confusion.

The bigger truth is this: when we normalize menopause, we humanize everyone.

So here’s my invitation—to all the men reading this: pull up a chair.

Ask the question - stay in the conversation even when it feels uncomfortable.

You don’t need to be an expert; you just need to be willing.

To all the women (and humans) experiencing menopause: share your story, your symptoms, your truth. Don’t shrink to make others comfortable. The more we speak, the easier it becomes for others to meet us in understanding.

Because this isn’t a woman's story—it’s a human story.

And when we bring everyone into the conversation, we build lasting relationships, stronger families, healthier workplaces, and more compassionate communities.

Let’s make menopause a topic everyone can talk about—openly, honestly, and together.

To men reading this piece, please add your voice and experience by answering this short survey: 

Men & Menopause: What You Know, Think You Know, and Wish You Knew

Lisa Boate,

Founder of Liberated Menopause Consulting and Coaching